Breastfeeding Struggles

For the moment when and if the Lord blesses us with another one and I need a reminder:

Who ever said breastfeeding was easy and doesn't hurt, they are wrong. Yes, the baby is latched correctly, no she doesn't have a tongue tie. These 5 weeks have been HARD, not just with the nursing but all around. I dont remember it being this hard with Lilly, but then again maybe I have just forgotten. It has been over 2 years since she was a newborn.

I remember with Lilly that I truly enjoyed breastfeeding. I was sad when she gave it up at 10 months. In the beginning I was sore, of course I was. But it was nothing like I have experienced these past 5 weeks with Cadi. 

I think that it is because the girls are totally different with how they nurse. Lilly was low key, she liked to snuggle and her suction was not hectic. Cadi, OH MY WORD, its like she has is a  Commercial  grade Vacuum. And she isn't all that into snuggling. She likes, when she is in the mood, but seriously she would rather lay on her changing table and kick and move and look around then snuggle with mommy. 

These 5 weeks have been exhausting. I have had blisters, Thrush, bruises...I started to pump because I just couldn't take the pain anymore when Cadi and I were dealing with thrush. but pumping is EXHAUSTING. Also baby girl is allergic to Milk so I have had to cut all dairy. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it was going to be but it has its challenges. 

With her allergies she also has acid reflux and a LOT of tummy pains. So nursing, she wiggles and moves and uses me like a stretchy doll...Can you say OUCH. Its been a Challenge. I have never wanted to give up more then now. If it wasn't for my husband saying I must breastfeed her since we were blessed with a Medela Breast-pump, and its cheaper then formula. But pumping is exhausting, especially at night when i just want to crawl back into bed after getting up with Cadi, feeding her and getting my colicky little girl back to sleep.

I am hopeful that as She gets older breast feeding will get easier, but as of now Its all about pumping.

Let me just say, if you ever consider buying a Breast pump...DO NOT BUY CHEAP. Spend the extra money...its totally worth it. With Lilly we had a Tommee Tippee breast pump. It never worked (their bottles are awesome though, highly recommend them!) I barely got to work EVER. When we left Cape Town I gave it to a friend to use for her baby. I thought I just was one of those women who just couldn't pump. So when Cadi was a couple days old, I had a HUGE milk blister  and I just wanted to scream in pain...Then i got engorged and Cadi would latch, which made the pain even more worse. My doctor called me in Dr Newmans Nipple Cream ( oh my word, the best stuff EVER, its magic) and a friend bought us a MEDELA  Breast pump

Its magic. I absolutely recommend it. Like I said before I thought I wasn't able to pump, but after the first use I was SHOCKED as how effective it is.

Day 4 and start of 5 of this

Yesterday didn't go so well. She sat on the potty for a good portion of the morning, and then she had 3 accidents all with in a 30 minute period. I was frustrated beyond belief.  Needless to say, she didn't get any stickers on her chart yesterday, then yesterday evening we went out to some new friends house for supper.  So we put her in a diaper.

I am praying that we have some success today, we will have 2 days of busy Saturday and Sunday so the training will be put on hold. And we will start again on Monday...I am not expecting it to be a quick lesson, things in my life don't happen as quickly as it does for others, but I have 10 weeks before Cadi's due date, so I am hopeful that she will have the hang of it by then😃

Day 3

Today went ok, she used the potty first thing in the morning and sat on the potty off and on this morning...

She had 1.5 accidents. Both times she new something was about to happen but did make it to the potty at all the first time, the second one she started screaming and as we ran she started to pee, but we got most of it in the potty. I praised her, but the family phone calls didn't happen like they did this morning.

Tomorrow is a busy day, but we will do potty training in the morning and do what we have to the rest of the day. We might see some regression come Friday, but we will see. She is getting it...and I didn't cry today which was great. Also Saturday and Sunday I am not sure how training will go, but we will do our best.

She is also cutting a molar this week which has caused some problems with her behavior, but at least she seems to be making progress...

Day 2 of Potty Training

oh my goodness, I feel so frustrated. I don't know what to do. She doesn't seem to understand the when I need to go, she knows she has gone, but the feeling before she just hasn't gotten it. I know it will take time, but i just am so discouraged. I am not very patient. and I struggle with my emotions of feeling like a failure are running high. Its not even 10 o'clock and i am already crying. Must be my pregnancy hormones. oh my word. This is what I hate the most about being a mom! I  HATE POTTY TRAINING.

She is ready, I have seen the signs. That isn't in question. Its the teaching her the feeling she has before she has to pee or poop, that is my frustration...I just don't know how to teach that. She doesn't seem to understand the question.

Did I mention That I have already lost myself to tears, oh I have, well I need to mention it again. I am really looking forward to nap time, when I can put a diaper on her, I am frustrated beyond  and tears are just flowing, because that is how I deal with things these days is tears...

Oh LORD, please help me to help her! I can't do this by myself.

I thought today would be better since yesterday was a disaster, but I guess I was wrong...stick with it Ruth, the first few days are going to be LONG hard days, but she will get it...she is smart.  I just want a glimpse of hope that she is getting it.

We can do this

Potty training

Here we go again. 3 rd times the charm, right? I am so nervous this go around. I know Lilly is smart and she hates to be messy...

I have failed 2 other times, once I was newly pregnant, like 6 or 7 weeks and Lilly was just 2. The other, I tried a method that was suppose to work in 3 days. It was exhausting and I just emotional and felt like a complete failure. And now I have to succeed or it might be way after her 3 birthday before I am able to try again. I am hopeful, but still nervous.

Here I am, trying to do things differently. Letting her play outside, just setting a timer and trying not to stress. She is smart, and I am trying not to let my pregnancy hormones take over and I completely loose it. I have to remind myself that this will take time and just  be ready for lots of accidents... But she will get it. And when she does there will be great big rejoice

........................................................................
The morning is over with no success (4 pairs of undies later), except that she did tell me she had to poop...we sat on the potty for 10-15 minutes with nothing and 2 minutes off she pooped in her panties. I am rejoicing now that it's nap time. I am pooped from trying to get her to use the potty. Praying she sleeps for several hours and then we will try again til dinner time.

I think tomorrow might be more of a play inside day and a more ritual sitting, but I still have to expect accidents or I will be so discouraged.

"How to Encourage your Husband"

In January 2012 Gary and I went to a Pastors conference outside of Cape Town. We were not even married a year yet, and I was 7 months pregnant with Lilly. At the end of the Conference they have a Q & A session. I had asked the 3 Pastors (Jeff Gage, Steve Lawson, and Carl Muller) how their wives best encourage them in their ministry, Gary was interning at a Church whose was without a Pastor, and Gary was trying hard to learn how to deal with all the stresses of ministry without a mentor. Only one actually had his wife with him so he passed the Question on to her. Heather Muller gave a great List of how she prays for her husband and encourages him. I asked afterwards if she would email me the list. I have given the list to several of my friends who are about to get married, but Its such a great list I want it on here for others to read. (Its written in a pastors wives perspective, but can be applied to any wife)

1.  Don't neglect your own personal walk with the Lord

Be disciplined in your Bible reading and prayer life.  We don't want to be "high maintenance women".  We want to be holy women. Our husbands have enough high maintenance women in the church.  When we neglect prayer, Bible reading and a close walk with God - our roles as wives, mothers and church members are hindered.

2.  Pray for your husband.  Daily!

Carl is the first item on my prayer list.  I pray for Carl as he grapples daily with scripture that it would be fresh and alive.  I pray that the Lord would open up the scriptures to him.  I pray for "unction" in his preaching.  That we might as a congregation experience the "romance" of preaching as Lloyd Jones said.  I pray that God would make bare his arm and save sinners.  I pray that the Lord would give Carl love, compassion and patience for the flock.  I pray for moral purity in his life as pastors fall morally around us.  I pray that he would fulfill his duties as a husband and father to his children.  I know as he ascends into the pulpit week in, week out, that God's Spirit must attend his preaching.  I asked four godly women in Canada to bathe this trip to South Africa in prayer.  I gave them several items to pray for.  One of them was the Spirit's help in preaching at the conferences.  I believe their prayers were heard.

3.  Fulfill your God given role as mother and wife so that your husband doesn't need to waste his time in doing yours for you!  If possible and if God blesses your with children, be a keeper at home.  Strive to maintain an orderly, comfortable home.  Relieve your husband from as much as you can of the affairs of the home so he can have time with yourself and your children when his work is done.

4.  Be a friend to your husband.

The ministry can be a very lonely place!

5.  Make your home a haven.

Make it a place that he is thrilled to come home to.  Set a good tone in the house.  Make it cozy and attractive and orderly.  Make it a place where he can relax and be hiI mself.  It's a good idea to not always be talking about the church all the time.  Your husband needs a break to just be a normal human being!  I make it a practice to not ask about the details of elders and deacons meetings or counselling sessions.  

6.  Encourage your husband verbally.

I've told Carl this last year that I think his preaching has improved since he started teaching homiletics.  I have told him when I have been blessed by a sermon or when others have told me that they have been blessed by his sermon.    I've told him that I think he was wise in the way that he handled this or that...

7.  Here's a good one...that makes Carl laugh without fail.  I just need to ask,  "And how are YOU doing?"  Our husbands give, give, give,...Some people frankly just use them and couldn't care less about them and the godly advice they give.  They are watching over their flock's souls  24/7. It's a huge, momentous task.  Very few people will ask how they are doing.  So, you ask them as their wife.

8.  I saved a classic from a godly elder in our church who is in his 80's.  He shared with our congregation when Carl came on as a full time pastor in the 1998 what MY role was...

His words were, "Heather's role will be to peel him off the ground when times are tough!"    Keep a close eye on your husbands.  I've had to peel Carl off the ground on a few occasions.  The ministry is a high calling.  Ministers have clay feet.  Who is sufficient for the task.

Be what God intended us to be - Helpmeets!

May the Lord bless each one of you tomorrow as you labour in your corner of the vineyard.

With warmest of love,

Heather Muller

I just love this list, and as Gary is not in full time ministry at the moment, but studying to be soon, I look at this list in a different light, but it is still true no matter what your husband does.

Destin 2014

On Saturday we got back from 6 days at the beach. It was great.

Gary and I weren't really sure that we would be able to take a family vacation this year. We hadn't budgeted for it and we weren't sure about his work since Cadi is due in the fall, and we just didn't know if he got leave or not or if he was going to have to take his vacation for that.

My sister in laws family owns a home in Destin, and Philip and Sarah were going down for 2 weeks. They invited us to join them one of those weeks. My parents and my sister, Gretchen's family were going down for one of those weeks staying at a different house, so we decided it would be great to go when they all go.

It was a great time. Even though Lilly thoroughly detested the beach, she loved the Pool and we used every day but the one in which it rained the entire day.

Gary, growing up in Cape Town is not use to the calmness of Gulf of Mexico, but I think he enjoyed himself.

I enjoyed myself, even though going to beach as a mommy of a Toddler and 7 months pregnant is WAY different then 8 years ago(which was the Last time I was in Destin).  I didn't do a lot of reading or sitting on the beach like I would of liked, but I did  get some sun, but when you have a Husband and a daughter who can look at the Sun for 5 mins and become like a Native, this fair skinned girl gets jealous. We really did enjoy ourselves and we are grateful for Philip and Sarah opening up a week of their vacation for us to join them.