Contentment in Life

Last night as I laid awake with legs aching and a 6 month pregnant tummy that does not allow me to find very comfortable positions, listening to the deep breaths of Gary sleeping soundly and the monitor whirling; I couldn't help but think about how far we have come.

We have been married over 3 years, Lilly is now 2 and Cadi is expected to arrive early October. I am grateful to the Lord for his many blessings on our life, my life.

This time 4 years ago I was searching for contentment in being single. I was 28 years old, never been in a relationship and now I was on the Mission field working with children. I assumed that these children were the children that I had prayed for, and I loved and still do love them. I felt like Esther in the Sara Groves song

Along with a lifetime, Africa called
She went for the first time, it grew in her heart
All of the children, so many children

Now Esther has 2.4 million children
She writes us and asks us to pray for them all

 I was sure God had called me to life of singleness. Even though a friendship was blooming with a South African Guy, I tried hard to not think anything of it; I mean I have had LOTS of friendships with Guys that was just that friendships. RIGHT?  I was so wrong. Gary was not just another Guy, he was the GUY that I had been praying for since high School.

In 2001, at my brothers Rehearsal Dinner, my sister-in-laws dad told Mary that the day she was born they started praying for her husband.  I took that to heart and started praying for the man that Lord had put on earth for me. Little did I know that that man was half way across the world and a new believer at that time.

God raised Gary up to be a godly man.  And I am grateful to the Almighty that he has blessed me with such a man. I am not saying that these 3 years have been easy. They have no, but they have been great.  I do understand why divorce rates are as high as they are, but within our selfishness and sin if we do not love the other more than ourselves then a marriage will fall apart ( 1 Corinthians 13). We have had our fights, but by Gods grace we work through them…with lots of tears (mostly on my part) and yelling and fighting for our marriage. When you put 2 sinners under one roof it can be hard. But you have to be willing to work through the issues.  

Communication is what we have found to be key to keeping up together. We highly recommend for any couple getting engaged or courting the book “No Longer 2”. It helped Gary and I learn to talk to one another and be open and honest about stuff, even if it might hurt the other. Often we think that we are communicating, but men and women communicate so differently, so it is helpful to learn how to make sure you understand the other. I often hear my sister and her husband say to one another “What I hear you saying is this…” I think that is Key, to make sure you understand. Gary and I have had conversations where we have to say, “I don’t understand” to where the other has to explain his/her side once again, or until both are on the same page.

Marriage is hard, But wonderful all at the same time.  I am grateful for my husband and my little family, but singleness was also great. Where I now have to think about 2 other people in my decisions, I use only have to think about myself.

 I highly recommend for those girls who desire a husband, but still haven’t met their prince read the book “Lady in Waiting”. It’s about finding contentment in singleness and having a deeper stronger relationship with the Lord and how it is more important than finding a husband. And if it is HIS desire he will bring that one in your life when time the time is right.

No matter if you are single or you are married, being content is Key. As a wife don't put your husband before GOD, but if you are single do not put the ideal of a spouse so HIGH up that you also neglect to put GOD first in your life. 

Joy of Movement

a pregnancy after a miscarriage can be so scary and stressful. I have tried hard to be positive and let the joy of a new life growing inside be something to rejoice about. But these 18 weeks have been hard. We have had a lot of scary moments and a LOT of joyous ones.

I might be in my second trimester, but morning sickness didn't completely get the memo that it was suppose to be gone by now. But its not that bad; its only occasionally...I mean I did have to run out of the church service on Sunday morning, but that in of itself is a blessing and a curse. I mean I hate being sick, but if that means my baby is growing and is healthy I will take it.

Another Scary thing was I started bleeding at about 13 weeks, FREAKED ME OUT...went to the Doctor and he discovered I had developed placenta Previa...It usually takes several months to heal and correct itself, but by Gods grace the bleeding stopped almost immediately and at our 16 week check it seems to have corrected itself, which is much faster than predicted.

In the last two weeks I have started to feel the little one move around and it has been wonderful. My stomach is expanding so much faster than it did with Lilly (even though my weight gain hasn't been much) It just that my muscles know what to do this go around and I have such a tiny torso that out is all it can do and ALSO this baby is already bigger than Lilly ever thought about being. I mean She is right on the mark size wise, we might have a 7lb new born, imagine that. I saw a friend at the Drs office a couple of weeks ago and she is due in July, Me October...and I swear I look much bigger than her, but then again she is Tall and skinny; Her little one has plenty of room to expand inwardly. 

We are excited about this little one...and I cannot wait to hold her in my arms and nurse her at my breast. and Even though Lilly doesn't quite understand that there is a baby in my tummy, she is already a great help and she is BABY obsessed. We kept Rheya Kemp one day last week and all Lilly could talk about was the Baby, she wanted to hold and hug the baby...I think this poor little one will be getting so much LOVE from her Big sister she wont know what to do. 

Lilly's 2 year old Photo Shoot

My best friend from College is a great Photographer. She is very artsy and you can just tell how much she loves to take photo's. We asked her to take our Family photo's last October for our Christmas Card, and we had never gotten Lilly's photo's professionally done before. I studied photography in school, so I always did them, but its so nice to have someone else take them and you can just enjoy the experience, and I also got to spend time with a DEAR friend. Here are a few of my favorites.

Thanks Rachael Kulick! We love them, and Come October it will be a Family of 4 photo Shoot for Christmas!

Fear and Joy

Today I feel fearful.

We are expecting once again, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I have made it past the scary part and I am now in my 2nd trimester and 14.5 weeks pregnant. Last November was the hardest thing that has ever happen to me, to us. I dont want to go through another miscarriage. (who does right?)

But today, all day I have heard the lies being whispered into my ears that Dr Scott wont be able to find a heartbeat on Friday. Even though, every appointment up to now has been great and the baby is growing well, I just fear that I will experience that dreaded appointment once again. I want to be excited about this little one, I want to be Joyful that the Lord has blessed my womb once again. But I fear. (and all this could be do to the fact that I have not slept well in several nights, due to Gary being gone for two and a horrendous sore on my tongue that makes swallowing hard...I don't recommend biting your tongue. But in sleep deprivation is when its the hardest to fight those lies)

This passage keeps popping up into my life over the past 5 or 6 years

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
3 “For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior (Isaiah 43:1b-3a)

I know that the Lord has all things under control, and that he has this baby in his hands, but I still fear. I can't wait to be reassured on Friday, after hearing that heartbeat and knowing all is well. and MAYBE we can find out what we are having. I know that GOD is Sovereign, Holy, Just, Merciful, and Kind. And I know he loves his children. I pray that My fears are calmed and that Satan will no longer snuff out that Joy by the whispers of lies that fill my heart and head.  

I seek to find Joy in this little miracle  that God is knitting together in my womb

Dora and Lilly's Second Birthday

Lilly turned 2 somewhere between the 28th and the 1st...With her Birthday as a Leap Year we chose to celebrate on the 1st since I was technically in labor on the 28th but She wasn't born til the next morning.

Lilly has a slight obession with Dora the Explorer. With that obession I decided I would make her a Dora Cake. With lots of research, since I had never made a fancy cake before, I finally got a simply pattern to do, which could very possibly the way I will make all other cakes in the future.

Ezra's Birthday is the 28th of Feb so we they shared Sunday's Caines Bday Party. Lilly wasn't so sure about the Caines rendition of Happy Birthday and practically jumped in Mollee's arms. (when Mollee is around no one else matters)

 The 2 Birthday Kids

 The Family with the cake, Lilly was so tired until she got a piece of cake

 She got all things Dora or baby dolls.

 Her new "Tablet" that is Dora, you can see her expression "OOOOOOHHHHHHH"

 The Books that go with the tablet reader, and Poppie and Grandma showing her how it works.

IT was a fun day overall , but exhausting.

I took Lilly for her 2 yr check today. Lets just say she is tiny. She is 20lbs and 30 in tall. Right at the bottom of the the scale...but she has ALWAYS been at the bottom.

Decoding Lilly

Lilly talks a lot, but you have to understand her language in order decode the meaning...I don't always understand, but for the most part I get the idea.

"mom" is my mom Lilly's grandma
"poppie" is grandpa
"meaw" is memaw, Gary's mom
"Dretch" is Gretchen
"Moo moo" or "moallee" is Mollee
"saiah" is  Isaiah or any harris boy
"boys" really any of her male cousins
"sushi" Lucy
Apple is all fruit
"Where'd go" where did it go?
"juice" is all liquids in a cup or Shoes

"Het" Heather

"Mac" Mac or Malachi

"Op" Open

"Peas" Please

"Awf" Off

"Pop" Lollypop Which she associates with Aunt Dretch :)

Nigh Nigh- Night night

I am sure there are so many more, but I just can't think of them all right now

Polar Vortex

Tuesday morning I set out for Wal-Mart. There were a few flurries, but didn't think much of it. In the 10 min drive the snow on the road wad getting thicker. I ran into the store and by the time I came out 15 mins later the parking lot was white. I drove home...I got up our hill(if it had been 15- 20 mins later I wouldn't of been able to get up it). Jason my brother in law was 15 mins behind me and he didn't make it the hill. I was nervous for Gary, this was only his second time seeing snow let alone his first time having to drive in it. I called him at work told him schools were closing and he might need to come home before the roads were to bad. He finally left and it took him an hour and a half to get home (better then Jason did picking up the kids from school, his round trip was 7 hrs total). On Tuesday, Gretchen and the kids went sledding so I took Lilly out as well. She was not a big fan of the cold or snow, we only were out for an hour, but I enjoyed hanging with sister's and their kids. It's great being back.